May 21st : Lazarus

Go do what ever you want to do.

These were the words that came out of my wife's mouth to me just a few hours ago after yet another let-down in what seems to be an ever-lasting job search.

Only my wife could know what I needed at that moment.  She didn't strike blasphemy against the employer that passed on me nor did she throw a pity party.  She saw my disappointment and addressed it by bringing clarity to the crappy situation. For as much as she left it open for me to do what ever I wanted to do - she was really telling me to simply stand up, dust myself off and get back into the ring. She's like my Mick - but beautiful...and a woman and not Burgess Meredith. Fortunately, she didn't make me chase a chicken in the backyard.

                                         Click On Picture

What did I want to do?  Run. And run I did in my short running shorts (the one's my wife hates), my IPOD, Nike DriFit shirt (The one that makes me look very fine).
I ran till I couldn't run anymore. It wasn't a Gump-like run but enough to re-focus me. Maybe I should rethink the shorts.

Along my run, several songs played.  Oddly enough, the perfect array of songs played in shuffle mode relating perfectly to my search and my low moment earlier. You all know what I am talking about. Like in any romantic comedy where the guy that just broke up with his girlfriend is in his car and he can't find anything on the radio except love song after love song.

Only in my case - the songs were inspirational like the rad synthesizer background music in Rocky IV when he climbed the mountain. Rad - look it up if you were born after 1989.
Rather than crying over a failed relationship like the saps in the movies,  I was immersed with an urgency to act. One after the other, the songs directed me to organize my thoughts and the next steps I would take as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning when I would wake. It was like I was in my own perfect Nike or Gatorade commercial with how the songs kept playing one after another with underlying messages of drive and optimism. Cheesy I know, but it happened. I am sure that many of you have been in the same place.  That place when you have that unexpected almost angelic window when a number of your favorite songs all play right in a row or several good things happen to you all at once. I was having one of these moments.

A little taste of my angelic song shuffle:

Bruce Hornsby: The Way It Is - I say no to Bruce's notion.  There will be no settling as far as I am concerned.  None the less, a wonderful piano interlude that motivates.

Van Halen: Dreams - I say yes to this and one day I too will fly with the Blue Angels. Seriously, a great song when you need a pick up. Forget "I can't Drive 55."  This is Sammy's best stuff.

Kings of Leon: Use Somebody -  I think this everyday but have come to the conclusion that' s it's on me to make it happen. If you don't listen to the radio you can regain an appreciation for this song.

Christopher Cross: Sailing - Best-ever yacht rock! Yes, It's not that far down to paradise with some effort.

Peter Gabriel: Solsbury Hill - "My life was in a rut.  My heart is going boom, boom, boom.  Grab Your things I'm gonna take you home."  Meaning: The hunt is long and hard but good will come of it soon.

Pearl Jam: Let Me Sleep - "When I was a kid, oh how magic it seemed." This perspective is something I believe everyone must maintain on their journey to finding what they want to do.

The Hours: Ali In The Jungle - Yeah, it's that song in the Gatorade commercial but a damn good song.  All the greats in history that never conceded to defeat or roadblocks. The greatest comeback since Lazarus.

The Hours go on to sing in their song Ali In The Jungle:
It's, not, how you start, it's how you finish,
And it's, not, where you're from, it's where you're at,
Everybody gets knocked down,
Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna' get up?
How quick are you gonna' get up?
Everybody gets knocked down,
Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna' get up?
Just how are you gonna' get up?
Like Ali in the jungle,
Like Nelson in jail,
Like Simpson on the mountain,
With odds like that, they were bound to fail
Like Keller in the darkness,
Like Adam's in the dark,
Like Ludwig Van, how I loved that man, well the guy went deaf and didn't give a fuck, no...
No, no, no
It's, not, where you are, It's where you're going,
Where are you going?
And it's, not, about the things you've done, it's what you're doing, now,
What are you doing, now?
Everybody gets knocked down,
Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna' get up?
How quick are you gonna' get up, now?
Everybody gets knocked down,
Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna' get up?
Just how are you gonna' get up?
Like Ali in the jungle,
Like Nelson in jail,
Like Simpson on the mountain,
Well with odds like that, they were bound to fail
Like Keller in the darkness,
Like Adam's in the dark,
Like Ludwig Van, how I loved that man, well the guy went deaf and didn't give a fuck, no...
Oooh, ooh, ooh
No, no, no
Oooh, ooh, ooh
No, no, no
Oooh, ooh, ooh
It's the greatest comeback since Lazarus,
The greatest comeback since Lazarus,
It's the greatest comeback since Lazarus,
The greatest comeback since Lazarus,
It's the greatest comeback since Lazarus,
The greatest comeback since Lazarus,
The greatest comeback since Lazarus,
The greatest comeback...

Interesting story about that guy named Lazarus. Follower of Jesus and brother of Mary. Lazarus falls to be on his death-bed.  Recovery: 0%. Jesus proclaims that he who believes shall live even in death. Long story short: four days dead, J.C. comes to his tomb. Lazarus is resurrected.  That my friends is beating the odds.

Now, I am not an over-the-top religious guy, but I do believe in a higher power. Only my higher power (J.C.) is a bit more up-to-date.  I believe he's got a Facebook profile and he Tweets under the name J.Cweet.

With the ridonculous song shuffle that was happening to me,  I figured why not stop and look up to talk to the big guy? So I did. Not out loud. That would make me to look like I lived in Crazy Town. Don't tell me you all haven't done this from time to time. Lottery tickets...semi-borderline atheists....hmmm?

My question to the big guy tonight while on my run was simple.  Dude....how many more times can I be kicked down and have to get back up?  And then my bromacho J.C. spoke.  At least I think so.

Ali In the Jungle began playing.
 
Was it Mary's portrait on a piece of toast in Brazil?  Not exactly.  But a sign none-the-less with how my music tonight - song after song provided me direction and focus to continue the good fight.  Yeah...I got knocked down again tonight. As many others probably did today with their search.

My question to myself when I was done with my run tonight: How quickly you gonna get up?

Answer: Immediately and as many times as it takes to land what I am meant to do.  

You might all be asking what my meant to do is exactly?

Make you all a deal.  Let's get some coffee and I will walk you through it. My calendar is open for meeting as many people as possible. Did you know that 78% of all jobs acquired are because of whom you know? 

My goal - get to know as many of you as possible.

I give a big Bless This out to all y'all comeback kids that are continuing everyday to get back up after being knocked down on your search for employment.

March 15th 2010 - Um...Ah....and Obviously

American Idol, Biggest Loser, Minute to Win it, The Bachelor and the list goes on.  What do all these reality shows have in common besides having low production costs and being mind-numbing entertainment for the American viewing public?

The fun we have watching reality TV

These shows on a weekly basis allow us as Americans to sit, observe and critique in order to make ourselves feel better and overlook/not confront our own downfalls/personal quirks.  And critique we do.

Your honor - I am guilty!

While guzzling down a large McDonald's Shamrock Shake while watching this week's Biggest Loser - I stopped and thought about why I was talking...I mean shouting at my television and making commentary about these people. "What? She only lost four pounds...kick her off."  OK, I get a little too much into my BL.

For anybody who would be looking in our windows (which would be creepy) - my wife and I most likely look and sound like two 14 year-old teenage girls critiquing the characters of Twilight while watching our reality television. Is this right for us to do? Is this right for anybody to do?

Just some of our weekly critiques and comments include:

• I don't like the funny mouth quirk she has when she sings? 
• Why would she pick that song?
• How many times can she say like?
• Would he just cut the mullet? 
• Wow - he sweats to much.
• Why does he cry so much?

The reason I stopped myself was because not 5 hours earlier, my career coach conducted an evaluation on me to learn what my quirks / non-verbals may be.  The reason he did this?  I asked for his help to recondition / undo some of my learned communication behaviors to help me better communicate on phone interviews and during in-person interviews.

What I learned from him was astonishing.  Some of it - I already knew.  But some other things I didn't.

As much as we all don't want to hear it or believe it, perception is everything.  Although we all may not want to accept that we all have our downfalls that may turn off others - we really need to.  If you turn off and don't listen to what others can see and observe about you - you will not grow.  You will just continue spinning your wheels with where you want to get to in life.

My job search so far: Where I thought I was preparing correctly  - I have been over-preparing.  Where I thought I was being passionate - I was coming off as intimidating and unapproachable.  Where I thought I was following the lead of the interviewer - I was dictating the interview.  And finally,  where I thought I was communicating in a concise, eloquent manner - I was bumbling , stumbling and talking too much.  My quirks: saying um, ah and obviously.

I was like um.

Great - now everyone is going to be on the look-out when I speak on the phone or meet with them.  That's OK because I want to correct these learned behaviors. 

Now, I could have went down what I call the "American Idol - don't you tell me I can't sing Simon" road after my coach told me what he noticed but what good would that have really done?

Humility is a large part of life. We all need to be told the truth in order to grow.  I think a large part of America has lost their ability to be humble. Aspiring Idols - you know who you are.

When the Simon's of the world tell you that you are no good - take it, learn from it and take action.  I learned very early that I was never meant to play baseball or basketball.  It hurt to hear it from coaches and family but it helped me in the long run.  Sometimes you need to be told the truth even for as much as you don't want to hear it or believe it.  Me being told I wasn't meant to play basketball or baseball led me to find other things I could succeed in.  Thank you mom for not lying to me like the crazy Idol mom's that tell those that can't sing that they can.

My mother once said - some people were meant to play baseball and basketball and others were meant to play piano and be on the football field.  I quickly took her advice. 

This week - I'm not going to care how many times the girls on Idol say the word like because I know I have my own work to do on saying um, ah and obviously less.

I will leave the critiquing of my reality shows to Joel on the soup.

Joel's Ridicule

If I can give any advice from what I learned this last week - Get a third party to tell you the truth.  My "Bless This" for the week goes out to career transition professionals out there helping those on their search to re-evaluate and re-work their job search approach/methods.  

Some excellent career transition companies/services can start with the great site www.business.com

Saturday March 6th, 2010 - Poker

During my search I have learned many things. One thing in particular is that weekends now seem just as ordinary and/or exciting as a typical work week (Monday - Friday).  I am often asked what are you doing this weekend Patrick? 

My response 99% of the time:
Hmmmm.....I don't really know......let me check with the wife is my first answer.
My second answer - let me check with the wife. 

But this weekend is a bit different. 

As indicated in the title of my blog - I am trying to "make the most" out of every one of my days. 

Today, I am on my own. I am having what I call a Viking Day.  It's that special day when you as a man are left alone by your significant other to fend for yourself. It's a day for us to use that cunning instinct of survival that we all have to get us through the day on our own.  

My wife has gone outlet mall shopping in the greater Chicago / Aurora area with her mother, her sister and her sister-in-law. I can only imagine the fun that car trip was this morning. The best thing - she called asking me what size Chicago Bears Crocks I needed. Again, I do not know how I survive without her.  I am sincere when I say this.  Only a special woman would care to think to pick up the phone knowing my man would adore these ridiculous, what an eight-year old should be wearing, orange and blue plastic shoes. She's right.  I can't wait till she gets home with them. I am wearing them EVERYWHERE.  They will become a part of my Walmart ritualistic weekend wardrobe.

So today - it came to me....man have I always wanted three tattoos or maybe just one. What better time than when the wife is away to make it happen?  I know right?

After a nice cinnamon dulce latte with my wife at 6:30 at the drop-off/meeting point for her to meet the other girls to get on the road - I was off on my "Viking Day."  Ahhhh......the freedom....the autonomy of it all.  After a brisk workout at my YMCA, I made my way to have my hair (as the ladies would say) did.  Andrew was my barber at the local Super Cuts today and the man can do a nice fade - if I do say so myself.

Only one more place to visit. So off to the tattoo shop I went.  Atomic Tattoo.  It was my first time in a tattoo parlor.  Correction.  Second time.  The first time was when one of my best friends allowed me to pick out his tat.  Allowing me to pick his tat while I was all hopped up on pain killers after a bone marrow probably wasn't the smartest move on his behalf. None-the-less he headed into the air force to boot-camp the next week with Scooby Doo on his right bicep.

So I'm not exactly Harley Davidson nor the Marlboro Man when walking into Atomic Tattoo.  Unemployed - I have learned many things and that is to have my list of questions ready. For today was the day  I met Poker.  Poker is a tatoo artist. And a damn fine one I must say.
I felt as if I had entered Miami Ink the television show. Poker and all his tat'd sleeves walked me through the process.  Kind of like when you walk into Lowes not knowing what the tool is exactly named but knowing what it looks like and the Lowes guy can read your mind. Poker kindly laid out pricing and what he could do in designing what I needed.  He also educated me on the care that would be needed once the ink was on.  Remember that whole "surviving" because of my wife thing.  Well...Poker let me know that someone would need to bandage and clean between my shoulder blades for at least two weeks. If anybody knows me...I really can't reach the middle of my back.  None-the-less.  Call it mid-life crisis, call it childish, call it even reaching....I have always wanted and known that I was going to be getting one to three tattoos in my lifetime.

What better time than now? Did I get the tat's today?  No. But I will within the next few weeks.  A guarantee.  Hell, one of them is going to have serious meaning to my wife...there is no way she can say no.  And I really need her help to reach the middle of my back.

As for Poker....I will see you soon my friend.  Although a weekend Saturday....it still feels like another weekday. Just another day of being unemployed, but another day in which I took the first step in doing something I've always wanted to do. A smart step? Maybe not.  But definitely a meaningful one.

I give a big "Bless This" to Poker and all the guys down at Atomic Tattoo.