Monday, March 15, 2010

March 15th 2010 - Um...Ah....and Obviously

American Idol, Biggest Loser, Minute to Win it, The Bachelor and the list goes on.  What do all these reality shows have in common besides having low production costs and being mind-numbing entertainment for the American viewing public?

The fun we have watching reality TV

These shows on a weekly basis allow us as Americans to sit, observe and critique in order to make ourselves feel better and overlook/not confront our own downfalls/personal quirks.  And critique we do.

Your honor - I am guilty!

While guzzling down a large McDonald's Shamrock Shake while watching this week's Biggest Loser - I stopped and thought about why I was talking...I mean shouting at my television and making commentary about these people. "What? She only lost four pounds...kick her off."  OK, I get a little too much into my BL.

For anybody who would be looking in our windows (which would be creepy) - my wife and I most likely look and sound like two 14 year-old teenage girls critiquing the characters of Twilight while watching our reality television. Is this right for us to do? Is this right for anybody to do?

Just some of our weekly critiques and comments include:
  • I don't like the funny mouth quirk she has when she sings? 
  • Why would she pick that song?
  • How many times can she say like?
  • Would he just cut the mullet? 
  • Wow - he sweats to much.
  • Why does he cry so much?
The reason I stopped myself was because not 5 hours earlier, my career coach conducted an evaluation on me to learn what my quirks / non-verbals may be.  The reason he did this?  I asked for his help to recondition / undo some of my learned communication behaviors to help me better communicate on phone interviews and during in-person interviews.

What I learned from him was astonishing.  Some of it - I already knew.  But some other things I didn't.

As much as we all don't want to hear it or believe it, perception is everything.  Although we all may not want to accept that we all have our downfalls that may turn off others - we really need to.  If you turn off and don't listen to what others can see and observe about you - you will not grow.  You will just continue spinning your wheels with where you want to get to in life.

My job search so far: Where I thought I was preparing correctly  - I have been over-preparing.  Where I thought I was being passionate - I was coming off as intimidating and unapproachable.  Where I thought I was following the lead of the interviewer - I was dictating the interview.  And finally,  where I thought I was communicating in a concise, eloquent manner - I was bumbling , stumbling and talking too much.  My quirks: saying um, ah and obviously.


Great - now everyone is going to be on the look-out when I speak on the phone or meet with them.  That's OK because I want to correct these learned behaviors. 

Now, I could have went down what I call the "American Idol - don't you tell me I can't sing Simon" road after my coach told me what he noticed but what good would that have really done?

Humility is a large part of life. We all need to be told the truth in order to grow.  I think a large part of America has lost their ability to be humble. Aspiring Idols - you know who you are.

When the Simon's of the world tell you that you are no good - take it, learn from it and take action.  I learned very early that I was never meant to play baseball or basketball.  It hurt to hear it from coaches and family but it helped me in the long run.  Sometimes you need to be told the truth even for as much as you don't want to hear it or believe it.  Me being told I wasn't meant to play basketball or baseball led me to find other things I could succeed in.  Thank you mom for not lying to me like the crazy Idol mom's that tell those that can't sing that they can.

My mother once said - some people were meant to play baseball and basketball and others were meant to play piano and be on the football field.  I quickly took her advice. 

This week - I'm not going to care how many times the girls on Idol say the word like because I know I have my own work to do on saying um, ah and obviously less.

I will leave the critiquing of my reality shows to Joel on the soup.


If I can give any advice from what I learned this last week - Get a third party to tell you the truth.  My "Bless This" for the week goes out to career transition professionals out there helping those on their search to re-evaluate and re-work their job search approach/methods.  

Some excellent career transition companies/services can start with the great site www.business.com




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